Monday, June 25, 2012

I become a Belieber...

and so will you!

In case you didn't know a Belieber is what fans of Justin Bieber call themselves (according to some very informed 12 year olds I know). I am not your typical JB fan, but I'v e recently been converted.

It all started back in March, when my period was late. Didn't see that transition coming did you. Anyway, like any normal infertile person I had a cache of pregnancy tests and decided to take one after a week of waiting. It was negative. I thought, "Of course it is, you silly." I felt a momentary let down (maybe 2 moments), but I was encouraged by the fact that we had recently started planning our next cycle using our frozen embabies. I knew that our target month was August, so I had something to look forward to.

Anyway, another week went by, still no period. So one night I joked with Jeremy that I was going to take another test (I really did have a good supply on hand). So I did. Then this happened.    


After I took the first one I was freaking out. I kept saying to Jeremy, "you see second line too, right?" Of course we were ecstatic. 

I made an appointment to see my OB. Based on the date of my last period my appointment was for my 7th week. We still hadn't told anybody, knowing that things can change in an instance and wanting to confirm with the doctor first. 

The practice I go to is amazing and when I went in for my appointment the doctor asked if I'd like to see the baby, just to be sure. I was thrilled. I went in for the ultrasound (hello magic wand!) and the tech looked everywhere and finally said, I just can't see anything. I think I started crying then. She asked if I was sure about the dates (I follow my fertility cycle pretty closely, thank you. There was no mistake with the dates.)

They took me back to the exam room and the doctor came in to chat. She said she was sorry, but she wasn't ready to give up. She told me to make an appointment for two days later and we'd see if there was any change. I was so sad and crying. Big, ugly, heaving cries. I pulled it together enough to walk down the hall and call Jeremy. He listened and consoled me, but he also had to head in to a really important meeting. So he told me to call my mom. I did. She was in the middle of Relief Society presidency meeting, and asked if she could call back. I started crying and said okay. She said oh no, what's wrong. So I told her that I was pregnant, but the baby didn't look like it was growing. Anyway, many tears later, I was somewhat consoled. Until I got to my friend's house to pick up CJ and broke down again. I told her everything and she (and the other woman at her house - I have no shame) tried to make me feel better. So there were lots of tears shed.

I went back two days later and there was no change. They could see the yolk sack in my uterus, but no fetal pole. The doctor said if I didn't miscarry in the next week, then I should come back in. It was one of the longest weeks of my life. But I was certain that I was going to miscarry, I felt like things weren't going to work out. 

I went back a week later. Jeremy came with me. He is ever the optimist and just knew things were going to be okay. We started with another ultrasound. The second the ultrasound started I gasped. I was looking at the flicker of a heartbeat. I said, "Jeremy, can you see that?" The tech said you must know what your looking for. I said, "I know exactly what I'm looking at. My baby's heart beating."  

The baby was two weeks behind when s/he should have been growth wise. So I started the same blood thinning shots I'd done before. This baby just really wanted to have an awesome birthday, and didn't really care about my body's time table. 

So what does this have to do with Justin Bieber. Well CJ is pretty darn excited for the baby too:


Doesn't that make you want to be a Belieber? 

I am currently almost 16 weeks pregnant with another little miracle. We're excited for Baby Erb to make his or her debut on 12/12/12. 
 




Reactions:

18 comments:

  1. I have no words! God is good! Congratulations from the bottom of my heart!

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  2. Wow!! We are THRILLED for you! I'm sure you are radiating incredible happiness! I wish I could give you a hug! Congrats!!!!

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  3. Congratulations Jill! What fantastic news! You deserve it!!!!
    From John and Joni Lelis:)

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  4. um... tear!
    Jill and Jeremy! Congratulations you guys! What incredible news! And you're little CJ is a jewel! I love that video!


    -Casey Davis

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  5. I cant believe I just wrote you're.. that's my pet peve. *YOUR! :)

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  6. Congrats! That is awesome that miracles happen!

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  7. Huzzzzzzzzzzzzah!!!!!! Congratulations!!!

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  8. oh my gosh, that is BEAUTIFUL!!!! Congratulations a million times over. :D We couldn't be more thrilled for you.

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  9. I'm crying....seriously crying tears of happiness right now. What a wonderful blessing!!! Can't wait for baby Erb #2!! Love you!

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  10. Great news, Jill and Jeremy!!

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  11. Great news, Jill and Jeremy!!

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  12. Oh this is such great news. Seriously. Let me know if you ever need a babysitter. :) love you!

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  13. Hooray!!! That is such great news! I'm so excited for you!

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  14. Jill! I can't even tell you how happy I am. I started reading your post and tears started filling my eyes. I am so so delighted that this miracle is happening in your lives again and that cute CJ is so excited. (loved the video!) We miss you and are thrilled that our kids are all going to be so close in age. :) Thank you for filling my day with such wonderful news. I can't wait to tell Rick! Love you!!

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  15. Yay! So happy for you. Congrats!!

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  16. Ha. That Beiber song has a whole new meaning in this context. Love CJ singing along. Congratulations! Super happy for you!

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  17. Ha. That Beiber song has a whole new meaning in this context. Love CJ singing along. Congratulations! Super happy for you!

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